I don't know why but I hate it...it's always me who's super emo about practically everything!
This CNY, I'm super sensitive about seeing other people's family gathering pics. It makes my own life stick out like a sore thumb. It's not that I don't have a family; in fact, I have 2 families (me and Wei's).
But both doesn't give me an ounce of the warmth that I see in other people's pics. Yes, I may be pessimistic but this post is solely for me to purge out the bad and absorb the good, so please leave me be.
First, my in-law's. I thank bro and sis-in-law for painstakingly cooking for us. But the atmosphere is not a warm get-together. We hardly every communicate other than the customary enquiry. So dinner is eaten with just the occasional question and one word answer. So awkward! Dinner is on the front porch with mossies and no fan (you know how warm the weather is during CNY).
Second, my own family. Every year, the first few days will be taken up with relatives. If I want to see them, will have to find them at relative's house. That's all fine if they are all gathering at one of their houses. But these few years, they like to just go to shopping complexes and 'lepak' there.....how do I join them with a bunch of kids walking aimlessly around a complex. Don't get me wrong I go window shopping too. But it's a different story when we have to go like a 'rombongan' and follow a lead. What's more, the kids will be bored stiff!
And what I'm most afraid of is.....if this is the scenery every year, what will my kids think of CNY? The culture will be lost to them. To them, CNY is just a boring day with nothing interesting. What to do? I can't simply create a nice and warm setting.
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